What is typing this sentence?

What is typing this sentence is an amazing, mysterious, self-organizing community of atoms (an arbitrary label, it could just as easily be labelled molecules, subatomic particles or simply energy). Somehow this collection of atoms organizes itself into possibly one of the most sophisticated, self-reflective communities of atoms existing in the universe. Somehow, this collection of countless individual atoms cooperates together in a field that continues to pattern itself in relative continuity. Miraculously, an overall sense of a separate individual awareness arises amidst this collection of atoms. It feels like there is a “me” here. This “me” experiences itself as an autonomous, volitional entity. It seems like “I” have control over what I do. 

 Actually, “I” do not control the maintenance of the pattern of the field. From the shape of my body to the functioning of its systems, I simply observe that it continues on its own. Who is doing all that amazing stuff?! I mean, the most amazing, complex interactions are occurring in my body in every moment of my life and I have nothing to do with it whatsoever! Certainly, at the level of the physical body there is no free will. It is doing it’s own thing.

 But I can control some things. I can move my arms and legs. I can speak. So I have must have control on some level over my physical body, right? Well, let’s look deeper. When I examine as honestly and open-mindedly as I can where the motivations come from that animate my body, my mind, my thoughts, words, beliefs, likes, dislikes, everything that makes up my personality, I see that everything, EVERYTHING! , is learned, conditioned or genetically pre-programmed. If I am honest I have to admit that this is so. This is a big statement. The only way to determine if this is true for you is to have an honest look and see for yourself. I am a creature of conditioning. I like to think that I am choosing the most advanced, enlightened worldview but when I look, when really, really look, I must admit that the way I see the world is a product of an infinite number of factors that have influenced me from the moment I was born and before; where and to whom I was born, what school I went to, what music my parents listened to, what experiences, tragic or glorious, shaped my fundamental approach to life.

When I look even deeper I find out that what I choose in any given situation, simply happens on its own. If I decide to raise my arm, where did the thought come from to do that? Look now for yourself. Where are the thoughts coming from? They are just arising out of nowhere. Thoughts are arising all the time. We do not respond to every thought. Some we pick out as significant and others just float away as easily as they popped in.

 So where does this feeling of “me,” this fundamental subjectivity, this I-ness come from? Not from my body, not from my mind. All of those processes are happening of their own accord. More to follow soon…

One Response

Linda/Mom says on August 27, 2009 at 7:45 pm

Is there a default Self and/or a created Self?