Back in March I went on a week long meditation retreat with Taoist Lineage Master Bruce Frantzis. It was a wonderful experience. Bruce guided us artfully through the Taoist Water Method of Dissolving into Inner Space. To me this practice is a true gift, especially if things are going not quite as ego would like them to go.

Bruce is a vibrant and inspirational talker and never misses to include fascinating stories of his life and training with Taoist Lineage Master, Liu Hung Chieh, in China. I am delighted that he will be coming to London. For two evenings in October he will be teaching ”The Water Method of Taoist Meditation: Relaxing into Your Being”, peeling away the metaphors to explain the relevance of meditation to everyday life.

October 12 & 13, 2010
7-9.30pm, North West London
Read more about this event and book tickets now…

“I have been fascinated by eastern traditions for the last 20 years. While many people touch on the surface of Taoism, Bruce is the only person i have come across who I consider to have a true deep understanding of the tradition. I have studied his work for the last 12 years, in particular I have found his teachings and transmission of the Taoist meditation tradition to be one of the truly valuable and practically applicable discoveries in my life.” Servan Keondijan

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In my view, practically everyone has rage within them. We are enraged by how we are bound, how we do not feel free to express ourselves as we truly are, how we edit ourselves, compromise, negotiate, make excuses,  -  the myriad facets of suppression. Often we project this onto others, they are the controlling ones, they are the ones that knocked the life out of us as children etc. Women also have the whole big story of male patriarchal tyranny, and persecution over lifetimes. Rage is the response we feel when we see our own control reflected in others. You may well have the urge to kill someone who is showing this to you. You may want to tear off their limbs, screaming.

When it comes down to it though, there is nobody else creating your emotions. And it is only you that is feeding this rage, by compromising your own sweet self.

We are often terrified of feeling anger, judging it to be bad, dangerous, unpredictable. And so create even more suppressed energy in ourselves by pushing it away  into a deep corner, hoping it will be safe down there. But this energy is a big force, and it will not just go away.

If you are afraid of violence, take a look inside at what you are doing to yourself. By judging and controlling, you are being violent to yourself, and, as long as there is inner conflict within you, you will find it in the world out there. I am not being metaphorical here, if you are at war with any part of yourself by judging it, suppressing it, denying it, you are LITERALLY creating the wars, conflicts, and violence on the planet.

Until you dare to liberate yourself from all inner conflict, the outer conflict will continue to manifest. This includes any thought or feeling that you keep inside you, however subtle. You don’t even need to express it. So controlling these feelings DOES NOT WORK if you want to live in a healthy, sane, peaceful world.

So what to do about this – how to make peace with ourselves and others? Well these things inside you that feel scary and overwhelmingly intense, can be gone in an instant. No need for suffering and drama. In fully feeling, accepting, and embracing your most violent emotions you will discover their emptiness, their inherent meaninglessness, and they will cease to control you.

If you would just free your fury. Experience your inner killer, and love it to death.

Let the rage enliven your blood with a fire that transmutes it into exquisite unbounded passion for life.

In your rage lies your joy. Do you love yourself enough to feel it? To free yourself from the tyranny of your control?

Then you are also free to feel your participation in the violence you see in the world, without judgement, but with compassionate understanding.

Or

You can keep that energy wound up inside you, protect it, do your best to hide it. But see how it sparks off at inconvenient moments, how it slips out the side. Everyone can feel it anyway, even if you hide it really well.

You can let it eat you up for lifetimes if you wish. But that’s not my choice.

Something in me feels deeply moved. Whilst my mind starts swirling completely in awe of this brilliant use of language, I notice the thought “What does that actually mean” followed by the realisation that it can’t be thought. And, this is what comes up for me:

Ever since I can remember there’s this sparkling stillness. It’s a feeling of being, fulfilled with emptiness, united with everything. For a long time this state was only experienced when being on my own, until I realised through a very painful but profoundly transformative event some ten years ago, that there’s the potential to fully interact and engage with the world whilst being in every moment just like this.

Inspired by the imagination of living freely I started experimenting, searching, reading, listening and discussing and found that being vulnerable, self-responsible, honest and real with each other is our potential for literally creating a different world. The quest of realizing the truth of who I really am has become my true passion. I’ve discovered that there’s nothing more important to me than waking up. Being here – really here in every single moment – with whatever is happening in this body, mind and emotions.

These days there seems a quiet riot going on. It feels good and healthy. I’ve discovered that miracle of disconnecting from indulgence in emotions, mind, sensations – simply the story – and just being in the very moment. It’s magical, rather a passive state yet very sparkling and tingling. Nothing that  can be done about it, yet it does take some effort. There’s beauty, gentleness, presence and aliveness. It feels like the struggle of survival has ended. These beautiful moments of total acceptance and connection with everything that is, when time stands still, have become more.

When triggers arise the urge to engage feels less strong. Identification with and attachment to this triggered ego being “me” occur occasionally. The simple acknowledgement of whatever is going on, seems important. There is something very loving and vulnerable in allowing everything just to be there and seen as it is without doing anything about it. Sometimes it feels like the body is torn apart by excruciatingly painful emotions. At the same time, however, there is an ever present awareness of the space in which all of this is happening. This space is peaceful and not disturbed at all.

At times a temptation to go with the story is still overwhelming. I love playing and experimenting with this edge, and the adventure continues.

One thing that has been coming up quite strongly is the subject of how we live our lifetime. In one way it does not seem to matter at all, and in another way there does seem to be a wonderful opportunity. That wonderful being Gurdjieff is quoted as saying that humans are not born with a soul — they have to earn them. It may not seem all that obvious, but check it out — most people live a life more inclined to negativity and compliant rather than being grateful and open to opportunities. Living that way has unpleasant consequences. And even in the complaint there is rarely creative suggestions for alternatives. Like the reviewers who always finds something negative to say — but never even attempts to write, paint, or produce anything creative of their own.

Compliant is not responsible. Most humans seem allergic to being responsible. (Being responsible is a vast subject.) I see the ‘ultimate’ as being a fulfilled human being. Most so-called successful people do not seem happy or fulfilled. Take a look at most of the lives of so-called successful people! Check the docos on the lives of the rich and famous. Mostly, tragic.

Anyone can be successful — at anything. A bit of aptitude helps make things easier, but anyone can do anything they want to do — if they want it enough. The main ingredient is not skill, it is perseverance. Skills develop with perseverance. Want it enough? Prepared to put enough energy into getting it? — You got it. Success is empty if it is not grounded in being a fulfilled human being. Fulfilled human being? Honest; sincere; truthful; open; available; grateful; available; unknowing; unconditional. Once you have realisation that you are a fulfilled human being successful at anything else is just a bonus.

So how about being a fulfilled human being. You can start right now, wherever you are, whatever you are doing, alone or whoever you are doing it with. Present, open, unconditional — with a smile?

Did I make it clear? Not what you have ‘accomplished’ on the outside, but connecting with that inner harmony that is you/the whole. Lovely.

sending love …

Paul

But, see for yourself here!